I started this post last year after my beautiful Australian Shepherd, Mesa, passed away from cancer. It was just too difficult to finish writing it at the time. The only line I could write was
“I have been fortunate to be blessed by the companionship of one of the most beautiful spirits I have known in my life for the last eight years.”
I can smile now when I see her photos, but I still miss being able to sit down on the floor and have her come curl up right in my lap and let me wrap her up in my arms and tell her how much I love her. She was the ultimate friend — always there, up for anything (except maybe bath time), forgiving, passionate, intelligent, and full of love.
She taught me so much about myself, and about life. Like a parent, I hope I can improve my part of the relationship with the next one. I don’t want to be as protective with the next dog; I want to make more of an effort to provide healthier food and more exercise; I want to see if I can find a way to have the next dog involved with me throughout the day; and I want to provide a companion so that when the dog can’t be with me, he or she can have a friend to hang out with during the day, even if it’s just to share naps with. I don’t know why Mesa was stricken with lymphoblastic lymphosarcoma at such a young age, but I hope to minimize the chances of this happening again to a future friend. I will also be more cautious about spaying at a young age — a possible cause for her torn ligament, which resulted in surgery and a frustrating recovery for her where she had to be carried up and down the stairs to go to the bathroom and lifted in and out of the car for almost a month. And I won’t fear loss so much that I would have another animal micro-chipped.
But I think she has forgiven me for all of my flaws in parenting and friendship.
There’s a reason dog is god spelled backwards.
